Introduction

As I sit here staring at this blank screen, I can't help but ponder what I am assuming are the questions that cross every first-time blogger's mind. Who will read this? Can I be successful simply telling my story? Will my story catch the attention of others who can relate? What are my goals by starting this outpouring of experience and emotion? The goal??? That is actually the easy part.

I hope to capture the attention of anyone who has shared experiences as mine. I hope to be able to give and receive support, to educate myself and share with others what I am learning. I hope to inspire and be inspired and to let others just like me know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 

I am realizing for the first time in my life how incredibly essential it is to have a support system. A support system you can count on, lean on, confide in. One that will not judge, will not criticize and most importantly will not constantly tell you "everything will be okay," when that can be the most condescending and irritating thing to hear when you are experiencing hopelessness.

So...what is it that lead me here, you ask? How I got to this point is so simple that it's complicated. Where do I go from here? How do I get there and where is there? Are the questions I face now.

Just like every other relationship, it started simply, without warning. It was no whirlwind affair full of feelings of euphoria or being swept off one's feet, it was just a simple meeting of a man and woman who talked a great deal, had a lot in common and eventually turned into "love". "Love". I use that term loosely here because this entire experience has completely redefined "love" for me. 

If you are unaware of what a Narcissist is, a Narcissist is:
"a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish." Psychoanalysis: "a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes." http://www.dictionary.com/browse/narcissist

You will become very aware of this type of person throughout this work. This person takes selfishness and self-centered tendencies to extremes. The most disturbing thing is that they are professional con-artists that YOU WILL NEVER SEE COMING! "Silver tongued foxes." They are coy and charming and are proficient at knowing everything that you want and need to hear, and they will have the perfect words for you every single time. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME! You will quickly fall into that "this is too good to be true" train of thought, and you will quickly find out you were right. If you ever got to watch the show Burn Notice on USA, my favorite quote from Fiona (a skilled assassin) is "If it seems 'too good to be true,' it probably is. Shoot it twice!" If only I had received that piece of advice before I got involved in this relationship, I may have thought twice.

I doubt at this point that I need to go much further into the details and I am sure you can see where this is headed. More stories will follow, but in short; it started out nice and pretty "normal," according to society's standards, and resulted in several years of emotional, mental and verbal abuse and eventually escalated into physical abuse. The very last beating that I endured resulted in severe emotional, mental, physical trauma and a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, which is what landed me here today.

I must disclose that this blog will be brutally honest, emotional and there will most likely be foul language or the insinuation of foul language. There are just some things that you cannot express fully without the use of foul language. If you are faint of heart, you will be offended. I do not intend to offend anyone, this is an account of actual events that have changed everything about my life. My beliefs, my relationships, who I was, who I am and learning to accept the fact that I am no longer the person I once was. I hope that whomever comes across this and takes the time to read it will do so without judgement. This is my life and I am sure that there are people out there that have lived the same thing.

As I share the details of my world, I hope you will have the courage and willingness to share yours. Please share and become a part of my support team as I help support you....

Welcome to my world......